our loneliness

The word loneliness summons up another word, isolation, and perhaps it is this word that holds the key to how to become less lonely.

We all crave that feeling of belonging and a connectedness to others to some degree or the other.

It doesn't matter if you are in a crowd of people or stood on a mountain if the feeling that you are isolated occurs. The feeling can hit you with the same intensity in either situation.

This happens if you have a sense of being an outsider from the crowd. It is as if you are amongst people who are foreign to you and who don't always see you or know of your presence.

Sometimes loneliness can arise when you feel misunderstood. In this way it may seem as though it is you, battling against the world, who either receives you in a cold fashion, or not at all.

The way to change that feeling is to forge a connection with others around you, or if there is no one around you to visit places where others are who are likely to have things in common with you.

This can be easier said than done in some situations, if others are hurrying on by deep in their own thoughts and unreceptive to you. Persistence can help on such an occasion. A friendly smile or polite gesture can often spark a warm conversation.

Sometimes, if we reach out to others we may find that they were lonely too and grateful for our initiative in making that first connection.

If you find that you often feel lonely then a way to help you relieve your loneliness and reach out to others at the same time is to get yourself a friendly pet dog. I have a lovely dog that I got from an animal rescue center and whenever I take him for a walk people stop to pet him and we end up chatting. Dogs can be wonderful company and will attract other animal lovers to you.

Beginning a conversation with a stranger may seem hard at first. However, after a few words have been spoken the ice will be broken.

Often the best place to begin is to make a friendly remark about a mutual situation. This can be immediately bonding as others have an instant understanding of what you are saying.

An example of this could be when you are out shopping and you see someone accidentally drop an item. If you help them by picking up the item and tell them the the same thing happens to us all at some point then they will be glad that you helped them and made a kind comment.

The English are famous for starting conversations with people that they don't know by remarking on the weather. Most people are not really wanting to talk about the rain or sunshine. Rather they are making a move to show that they are friendly and open to talking with the other person.

If it is not that you feel shy when in a crowd or awkward being amongst strangers, but actually feel very unhappy in the company that you are in then it could just be that you need to find people who are more like you.

We are all different. Sometimes those who are more similar than others group together. It can be that at times you find yourself amongst a group of people who are similar to each other but different to you.

When this happens it is best to remind yourself that there will be other people who are more like you out there who will value your company and who will welcome you openly.

Finding such people is easiest if you join groups in which you already have an interest. Evening classes, dancing, further education and specialist groups that you are drawn to will all probably come with new friends that would be a pleasure to meet and who will find the experience mutual.